Rebecca Bailey, PhD

Rebecca Bailey, PhD

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The Lazy Mans Way Out?February 19th, 2012

While reading Steve Jobs autobiography, something really stuck out to me; he stated that, in terms of presentations, powerpoints are “the lazy mans way out”. I never had the opportunity to see him speak and I have no doubt he was an amazing speaker, never the less, I am way too easily distracted to be able to present without a visual aid – let alone sit through someone else’s presentation!

Powerpoints and I, well, we are like best friends… When presenting, I use them to keep me focused, move me forward and to give the audience yet another sensory stimulation. Gone are the notecards and written out speeches; hello entertaining bits of eye candy and colorful splashes of content to highlight the current topic. Needless to say, they make it so much more fun, exciting and titillating as a speaker.

As I write this, I am aware that I have seen several people speak without eye prompts and they were certainly great presenters. Jessie Jackson is one and I am sure that Bill Clinton is yet another; however, my personal style tends to encompass lots of great stories and concepts, which are most accessible to the audience with visual enhancements.

Over the years, I have typically stuck with my beloved method of using visual aids when conveying presentations, so this blog is a deviation from my norm as I will be standing “bare naked” without the eye prompts for the first time; lets hope it translates!

Attempted AbductionsFebruary 12th, 2012

What is it about attempted abductions in our area of Northern California? Three have occurred in the last month! Fortunately, the events did not turn tragic and each of the young girls, yes girls, got away safely – pretty cool huh? Although I am estatic that none of the attempted abductions were successful, the bigger issue is that they happened in the first place. What is going on around here?

Growing up in Boston, I was always told “the crazies” lived out in California. Fast forward 22 years later and I can tell you that “the crazies” are not just limited to California and that “the crazies” are here, in California, just as much as they are anywhere. As a child I knew two girls who disappeared. Mind you, that was in Boston and Vermont. It is clear that there are some bad people no matter where you live, but the question still resonates in my mind, “Is our area that unusual?”

To further complicate things, people appear to be terrified, so much so that they do not even want to discuss the issue. Why are they so afraid? As a parent, I get it. Just the thought of your child being abducted is such an uncomfortable and anxiety provoking topic that many people would rather avoid the topic altogether and just pretend that such things do not happen near them. Had I grown up in California, I would bet that I would have grown up thinking that “the crazies” lived somewhere on the east coast – maybe New York or some other big far away city – just as long as it is anywhere, but here. No one wants to think it could happen to them. But guess what? It can and it does.

Very rarely does a stranger or person unknown to the family suddenly swoop in and abduct a child. Far more often the abductor is someone that is known to the family. Sometimes it’s a slow cultivation and other times it is extremely quick. The handyman, the coach, the neighbor, the boyfriend, the disgruntled ex or virtually anyone that is associated with the child could potentially cross the line, yet parents seem so afraid to take this topic on.

It is time to face the facts. It’s not about you; it’s about your kids. Take the topic on. Talk to them . Emotionally inoculate them. let them see it’s not always about physical protection being emotionally fit and being ready helps as well. From early on in their childhoods, I have told my children that if something feels weird, unusual or icky it really might be.

Every action has a consicounse and you most be prepared to deal with it. In my case, I am currently paying the price for teaching my children this outlook as my teens are testing my resilience. It would have certainly been easier for me to have taught them to stay in tow, listen up and respect me as the ultimate authority, but I did not. My children have learned the lesson well and it has definately been exhausting, but I am confident that if the situation does ever arrise, they will be prepared and they will question it. In the end, my toll is a bit of exhaustion in order to prepare my children for the realities of the world and all of “the crazies”, I will gladly pay it every time.

Moving MountainsFebruary 5th, 2012

As I sit writing this first blog post, I am in Indiana attending and presenting a seminar about the field of horse work. Simply put, the seminar is about using horses to help (strides for success). Over the last several years, the field has started to grow in leaps and bounds. To my delight, suddenly it isn’t taboo to work with animals anymore.

Wearing my other hat, that of a psychologist, I can attest to the fact that it has been a long haul to simply reach a point where openly admitting to using animals in my work does not bring about instant stigma. It used to be only acknowledged under great distress in an interrogation room. In other words, it was considered frivolous and potentially even a career killing move if you allowed yourself to utter it out loud. This is not to say there have not been other self confident folk before the last 5 years to use animals. People like Pauline Quinn, David Currie, etc have quietly incorporated animals into their work for many years. Much of this work has been done in prisons, but the new wave is applying it to veterans.

You may be asking what the purpose of the blog is? Perhaps it is a reaffirmation of my coming out of the closet with the animals. It is also meant as an encouragement to others to follow their passion. What is really exciting is the spirit of collaboration within the field. My hope is to encourage others to listen up, reach out and learn to do the same. In England there is a transition movement taking place. It’s about community change, building and collaborating together. One makes a big difference, but more moves mountains.

As a speaker it has been difficult to introduce horse work to the organizations that ask me to speak on the topic of working with families and victims. But the folks around the horse work are beginning to ask questions about other tools and ways to work. It’s easy to forget how organizations, orientations etc are culturally based and they often tend to only see the world through their own view. Education, awareness of other’s perspective, openness to learn new viewpoints and the spirit of collaboration are all the name of the game. With this first blog entry and the countless entries that are to follow, I am still but one individual, but with your help, I am ready to move mountains…